Home and In the Sun
Red&Gray - The FB Fast
Background: about a month ago, I had lunch with a good friend. One of the topics of conversation included being social and being e-social. She noted that there were many things that she didn't care to read about her friends updates (this was more twitter related), but this got me thinking about social relationships -- and the e-type versus real life type.
And then that furthered my thinking about personal interactions and caused me to articulate the Big Question: "Was I using Facebook and Twitter as a simple and easy, but perhaps not soundly founded way to have conversations and personal interaction?"
You know how it is. The difference between sitting across from someone, looking in their eyes, seeing their non-verbal communication versus e-social where one fills in the missing gaps with either one's best guess or best hope.
And that is why I went on a FB Fast.
And here is some of what I found (in very general terms). Since all of my Facebook Friends are people that I've seen before, the gaps that need filled are smaller and more reasonable - in this context, e-relationships are relatively reasonable. The Twitter Friends are with very limited exception, people that I've never met face to face . . . and therefore the filling of the gaps are all from my experiences and have very little to do with them.
Lodge. This is the word that keeps entering my mind. On vacation in Alaska about five years ago, we were in a Lodge that had a Great Room, Rocking Chairs on the Porch, and a Dining Hall. And what I discovered then that these three physical areas were catalysts to community, to conversation, to personal interaction.
So, where to go from here? re: Twitter, I think that I'll probably stop or drastically reduce the number of people that I follow (around a hundred now to perhaps around 10 in the near future). Re: Facebook, I'm not sure. But, as it has a foundation from the past, I am leaning toward it being a e-catalyst toward community.
Red&Gray - Envelopes (Freedom)
About 14 months ago, I was urged by a friend to get rid of my debt. As I'm nearing the completion of that task, I am a bit floored by the seemingly simple, but quite powerful system that I implemented . . .
Envelopes.
Yep, mine are ivory colored, #10-sized, and now have a bunch of writing on them. They (the eight of them) are clipped together and have the monthly budget intertwined (figuratively and literally) with them.
They come with one main rule - when the money is gone . . . it is gone.
Simple, Silly, Seeming Stupid, but Ingenious.
Via these envelopes, I'm able to (a) say no to other items at Target and Home Depot (b) be creative with substitutions of things that we "have to have" and (c) reduce the amount of debt from High to Zero.
I'm sure that there are other things in life - other seemingly simple, but powerful things - that could be implemented to make positive changes in life.
Now, just to find those. . .
Fly - No Matter What
Originally Posted September 11, 2006 . . .
This post rambles -- I've re-read it twice, changed it around a little bit. It still rambles, but right now, I still can't fix it.
In time, I'll be able to. . .
-----
Everyone remembers where they were on September 11, 2001 -- I was in a Construction Meeting at the Greater Cincinnati Airport. My wife called twice and I picked up the cell-phone on her second attempt -- our code for "it's important".
She told me that a plane had just struck the World Trade Center. She said, "Dave. It's important. Tell everyone in the meeting what just happened." From the first minute, she understood better than anyone I know what was going on. No, she did not know if it was a terrorist plot or an accident, but she knew that today was a day that we'd remember. She knew that it was important for me to tell everyone in the meeting that something big and terrible was happening.
When she called the second time about twenty minutes later -- we ended the meeting.
That afternoon, I returned from our field office at the Airport to our Main Office. That day I did not want anyone to take anything from me -- I continued to work for several hours as I did not want to give into anyone trying to terrorize me -- I was not going to be bullied.
The Unger Report posted a piece today on comedy and how 9/11 has impacted laughing. If you have a couple of minutes, listen to it -- especially the last 40 seconds. It is the voice of someone that gets it -- and ironically he gets it, because he admits that he just doesn't understand it. David Letterman went back to work six days after the 11th. I recall him stating that he was going back to work because Mayor Giuliani asked that people try to return to their normal ways.
In 2001, our family was only four in number -- now it is six. As I was driving today, I realized that none of our kids will really remember September 11 -- just as I don't remember November 22, 1963 (I wasn't alive yet) or July 20, 1969. They'll learn of it and remember it, but they won't know right where they were when it happened. Is that a good thing -- I don't know -- part of me thinks yes and part no.
A couple of years ago, my daughter started learning about 9/11 while listening to the words of Alan Jackson's song. She listened to enough of the words to wonder why "the world stopped turning."
It was sometime in 2003 and even though it wasn't September or an 11th or 2001 -- just some random day -- I remember where I was -- driving up Hunley explaining to her what had happened a couple of years before . . . and having to stop talking a few times from being choked-up.
I wonder if that is what she'll remember?
JstATht - One Laugh
What would it be like if you could laugh really hard - I mean a real and true laugh - once a day?
JstATht - Xylophone
Let's be honest, the main reason so many people know
what a Xylophone is and looks like is due to the relatively few items that start with the letter X.
If Opossum was spelled Xpossum, everyone would know exactly what a Opossum (or possum if you didn't go through the spelling bee horror in 3rd grade) looked like.
Red&Gray - Train/Life Theme
Two days ago, I was born
Yesterday, I was a baby
Today the train pulled me out of the station
It will make many stops, and
tomorrow I will die.
The secret lies in enjoying the arrival at this station;
embarking
meeting the passengers
dreaming at the scenery
relishing the moment,
making a friend and,
arriving at the end of the line,
Happily.
JstATht - Light Darkness
Consider that you have two rooms connected by a door.
In Room 1, the lights are on and it is darn bright.
In Room 2, it is pitch black - even the light from under the door doesn't reach this room.
Why is it that when you open the door, the Light Room, doesn't get darker, but the Dark Room gets lighter?
JstATht - Yelling I in Type
Occurred to me yesterday - if one wants to yell something like "ARGHHH!," one types it in all capitals. You can't really do that with the word - I - though.
I really mean it!
I REALLY mean it!
I really MEAN it!
I really mean IT!
See, you couldn't tell I was emphasizing the first word in the first sentence, but I was (<-- that one is capitalized too).
Red&Gray - A Getaway
A couple of weeks ago, we went on a mini-vacation to a relatively close State Park. We stayed in a comfortable lodge, swam a ton, hiked in a creek, and (well) we bonded.
My kids know that I love them - I tell them. They also know that I like them - I tell them that too. But something happened over the long weekend. I can't put my finger on it exactly, but we bonded more than usual. Maybe it was because I had planned out the weekend (instead of winging it), maybe it was because they were able to tweak the plans, maybe it was just because we were all together doing the same thing and not being interrupted (Turning off work email on the phone - best decision I made over the weekend).
As I write this and think back to the weekend, simply playing checkers was a bonding experience - as was the five of us playing each other with our five Nintendo DSs (Mario Kart anyone?)
Hiking in the creek and hiking back to the lodge and then stopping in the lodge game room, sipping caffinated soda, while playing DSs, and laughing were huge, lovely, loving, family bonding times. As I think back a couple of weeks, I think, "I am a lucky man!"
But that is not the point of this post. The point is that these people (who are still three years from their combined ages surpassing mine) gave me not just a peace, but some type of new view of life, adversity, love, and day to day experiences.
Somehow over that weekend I was more able (and am still able) to see that positive things are great and provide laughter, fun, love, and (well) a thumbs-up. But the funny, weird thing is that negative things also provide (well, not laughter and fun) but a beautiful opportunity to grow.
On the surface, it is definitely a logical conflict, but once one delves a little deeper, the opportunity for growth is huge.
And here is what it takes form me to seize the negative to see its benefits -- Time, Shoes, and What can I Learn.
When things are really crappy, stink and just plain suck, I put on the shoes of another - usually someone in my tribe, easily someone with whom I'm conflicting, or sometimes someone I don't know. When I take the time to put those others' shoes on and reflect on where they might be coming from - instead of where "I know" that they are coming from, I gain an empathy that allows me to again look at the common goal and to focus on the real situation or problem, not the perceived problem AND it allows this self to grow.
Joyous or seeming cruddy, each day is a gift - it has to be, otherwise, we're just blowing our most precious resource - Time.
Action Items:
1. While it is happening, recognize a time of Frustration (hardest part).
2. Put on their Shoes and try to see the situation from their view (another difficult part)
3. Come back to your own shoes and wonder "What one sentence can I learn from this?"