Orange Shirt Guy

A couple of weeks ago, we went on a mini-vacation to a relatively close State Park. We stayed in a comfortable lodge, swam a ton, hiked in a creek, and (well) we bonded.

My kids know that I love them - I tell them. They also know that I like them - I tell them that too. But something happened over the long weekend. I can't put my finger on it exactly, but we bonded more than usual. Maybe it was because I had planned out the weekend (instead of winging it), maybe it was because they were able to tweak the plans, maybe it was just because we were all together doing the same thing and not being interrupted (Turning off work email on the phone - best decision I made over the weekend).

As I write this and think back to the weekend, simply playing checkers was a bonding experience - as was the five of us playing each other with our five Nintendo DSs (Mario Kart anyone?) 

Hiking in the creek and hiking back to the lodge and then stopping in the lodge game room, sipping caffinated soda, while playing DSs, and laughing were huge, lovely, loving, family bonding times. As I think back a couple of weeks, I think, "I am a lucky man!" 

But that is not the point of this post. The point is that these people (who are still three years from their combined ages surpassing mine) gave me not just a peace, but some type of new view of life, adversity, love, and day to day experiences.

Somehow over that weekend I was more able (and am still able) to see that positive things are great and provide laughter, fun, love, and (well) a thumbs-up. But the funny, weird thing is that negative things also provide (well, not laughter and fun) but a beautiful opportunity to grow.

On the surface, it is definitely a logical conflict, but once one delves a little deeper, the opportunity for growth is huge.

And here is what it takes form me to seize the negative to see its benefits -- Time, Shoes, and What can I Learn.

When things are really crappy, stink and just plain suck, I put on the shoes of another - usually someone in my tribe, easily someone with whom I'm conflicting, or sometimes someone I don't know. When I take the time to put those others' shoes on and reflect on where they might be coming from - instead of where "I know" that they are coming from, I gain an empathy that allows me to again look at the common goal and to focus on the real situation or problem, not the perceived problem AND it allows this self to grow.

Joyous or seeming cruddy, each day is a gift - it has to be, otherwise, we're just blowing our most precious resource - Time.

Action Items: 
1. While it is happening, recognize a time of Frustration (hardest part).
2. Put on their Shoes and try to see the situation from their view (another difficult part)
3. Come back to your own shoes and wonder "What one sentence can I learn from this?"