Paraphrased from a book on the iPod.
Instead of attempting to place blame, or trying to cover your own rear end, ask the question behind the question. Use the word "how" or "what", include the word "I", and conclude with an action (e.g., "What can I do to make the situation with the Big 3 better?" or "What can I get to help re-rail the train?").
Miller, J. (2004). QBQ, the Question behind the Question. New York: Putnam. Link.