Probably just a few minutes to write here as it is already 622am and I've showered before I've started writing.
This morning the wind is blowing, the leaves are rustling, thunder is in the distance and rain is on its way. I love this. It would be better if I could share it with someone that also loved it. This reminds me of vacation - not the cookie cutter, in a condo vacation, but the on-the-porch sitting as a family vacation where you are doing nothing (but recharging one's own batteries) and thinking about getting up to get the deck of cards, but are enjoying your self and time and family and "this" that you just don't want to ruin it because you know it is a fleeting moment kind of thing. . . So. You. Just. Sit.
And the rain comes. And the drop in temperature comes. And the five of you are sitting there, saying nothing, looking out through the screen, feeling the breeze, jumping when the stick falls, and Enjoying. The. Moment.
Oh to be
able to translate that to everyday life.
To be in a meeting, to realize that people are making progress. Or that people are trying to make progress. And to listen to the sounds, to watch the pencils and pens, and to be able to appreciate it all. Not to try to make it happen. Just to enjoy the moment.
Oh, there is something there. People want to; No, People need to Enjoy the Moment. But something happened on the way from one week out of 52, on the way from the morning bed to the make-money-routine that derailed the glorious almost-childlike Enjoy the Moment.
Was it responsibility? Was it duty? Was it Hiding? Was it The Jones's?
Was it the cookie cutter mentality? Everyone does it this way, so I have to as well. Everyone goes on vacations to the beach - to be entertained, so I have to as well. Everyone has to be entertained - as do I.
But I forgot. I have this entertainment thing inside of me. I have my own mind, my own wants, my own desires. I know - somewhere in my self - I know what those are.
Instead of doing what people and society and money is saying to do, why not just stand up and say, "I'm tired as Hell. And I"'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!"
Because we're scared? Because we're lazy? Because what if it doesn't work out?
Damn-it.
For this logical, male brain there has to be some kind of exercise that can be done frequently that says, "Hey, remember that non-verbal voice that keeps motioning and gyrating trying to get your attention - listen to him. He's brilliant."
And maybe, just maybe writing this stuff everyday is part of that task . . . Or at least a first step out of the muck.
0635 EOT